13 VII 2003 - 17:31 - addendum1

Another (worthless) entry up behind this one.

But what I think I really need these days is to be told that it's perfectly all right not to know what's going on, and that it's perfectly all right to be just a teenager. Because I've spent so long around people who assume that with my self-knowledge I must know that or being told that I'm unlike the run-of-the-mill teenager that I sort of want to crack in two. Me. Not-me. Who wins? Also, spending time with more settled people tends to put me into a ridiculous state of mind, like: Oh God I don't know what I want to do with my life! or Who do I want to settle down with! Biological... clock... ticking... ohwaitreallynotatall. So, in a word: perspective.

That, and for two sides of a particular argument to stop trying to convince me that the other side is wrong, wrong, wrong. Because I love them both, and they don't seem to be able to see that what they want of me is to tear the other (and myself) out.

Incidentally, it is the 18th birthday today of the person who is indirectly responsible for the chain of events that led to my coming out at school and home. Fun, isn't it?