31 V 2002 - 00:09 - verba14

a. sits in class and toys with his hair. someone, astounded (for all know no boys play with their hair), asks what he's doing, and in reply he draws a pencil from the thick (and now, it appears, pencil-ferous!) mass upon his head. his thin frame, accustomed now to his uniform of red and black, trembles with his quiet laughter, and once he has started laughing, the force of such laughter seems to consume the rest of the room, if not the world. he throws his head back and exposes his neck, something more in keeping with expectation than grass's famous mouse; a demigod, he lowers it; laughter ceases at his bidding.

das Fagott, neuter; faggot, in American English a slang word (vulgar, often derogatory) for a male homosexual, and god if that joke hasn't been played out among those seeing German scores for the first time. perhaps this new day is over-sensitive, but it still hurts when a friend, waving an oboe-bassoon duet around, asks "whose duet for oboe and faggot this is." wince and claim, and it's handed over, "of course it's yours." not done with any intent to wound, but she can't know it does. still, it's too difficult to say anything and the rest of the period is gone in harsh silence, her unknowing how different words are in strange mouths...

the ballet is always awe-inspiring. tonight giselle is on the stage, the penultimate performance in a run dedicated to the lead who will not be returning next year. the orchestra plays eminently forgettable music (who remembers poor adolphe adam?) to a half-remembered plot (of course the heroine, dance-loving, has a weak heart) but all of that can be lost in the turns and twists and strength made visible in the arrested leap. the suitors duel not with swords but in crossings made, in endurance, in how suitable a partner they make for the dance. this is a beautiful, if slightly senseless, world; this stage is rightfully the heritage of all man, not just europe.

a week and a day before our concert, the reno youth philharmonic has come to hear us in our open rehearsal. in previous years, this was almost a concert, everything working as a marvelous machine. with a new conductor, a half-new orchestra, the music falters, stops. this is worrying, with so little time; the music seems but a shade of what it might be with more experienced players. the reno musicians file backstage afterward so they may, as our conductor puts it, "socialize." defying the set clusters, one steps out. "that was very impressive." gasp. she was serious? yes. this cannot be. it was too rough but she is. so we grin, weakly.

microclimates: the backdrop to life out here. the bay area is mildly notorious for them, and in certain areas, they make impressive things possible. the botanical gardens at the university of california, berkeley are tucked in a series of hills, each exhibit placed so its need for climate control is minimal. a friend asks this morning whether it�s cold. "i need to go to the city today. the sun�s out here; is it...?" "fog hasn�t lifted here. you might want to bring a jacket." downtown, it�s different, of course, and all of these just six miles away from each other, a triangle of irregularity such as the guidebooks warn of but never prepare --

"...those of you who are just joining us, there has been an earthquake; its epicenter was about three miles southwest of gilroy, we're getting calls from as far north as san anselmo and as far east as modesto, preliminary estimates of its magnitude are coming in at about 5.2..." click. radio, the soundtrack to life in the bay area. hasn't been one this strong since the one last year in napa, and this long? almost no question but that the last one longer was back in '89. everyone becomes expert, living here; everyone ignores the risk midwesterners imagine must loom large; everyone knows to walk, nervous, to a doorway if it's too long...

[i was home sick on this day and i couldn't think of things to write about, but here is my filler, bracketed, one hundred thirteen words: perhaps consider a few things. such as just how quickly the earth is spinning with you on it, how quickly it throws itself through space. and with such abandon as even the best dancers might envy! or of the twin miracles of vanilla and chocolate; if you have a chance, see if you can find an abbreviated description of the process used to make both. after reading, ask yourself: just how were the foodstuffs that are so common today discovered to be safe? that's all for today.]

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