18 XI 2001 - 20:46 - brevis26

I'm not quite ready to do my homework yet. (Am I ever? But:) My sister leaves today (I'm obviously not at the airport; her flight leaves at 10 but they wanted to get there early) and the Youth Orchestra had its first concert today. I'm going to disagree with Al a bit and say that we definitely could have done better. Yes, it was good, but the Beethoven was almost completely flat. We were at least together; emotionally, however, there was no tension, and that's really all that keeps the thing alive. So we could have shaped more, and the celli could have done better with the opening of the Lutoslawski. Although don't get me wrong: we rocked, no one got lost, there were only a few errors, and we sounded much better than we have in a long time. So maybe this year will be all right after all. (Then again, our next subscription concert does involve both Hindemith *and* Ives... hmm.)

I want to know whatever went into making me the way I am so I can go and threaten it ineffectually and generally be quite un-butch about the whole affair. I mean, here I am, incapable of paying B. even a simple compliment... and yet I am able to quite effortlessly compliment, flatter, flirt with a whole range of girls. And and and I've gotten so many comments that I might as well be married to mwarren. Oh! Speaking of mwarren, we traded shoes today, and I walk in heels so much better than she does. *shakes head* God, I'd be so much better at being a girl. Not that I think that you're masculine or anything, mwarren, but there's something to that, isn't there? And R., I'm only saying that B. is straight because that seems to be the pattern I've fallen into without workable gaydar.

Train of thought? Ha! I spit in that concept's face - ptui! About half an hour has passed since I began to write this entry and I don't have much to show for it (well, I never really do, but...) and I have a bunch of homework to catch up on, not having gone to school on Friday and all. So I think I'll be going now.

No Latin word, either. I'm Latin-ed out for the weekend. I would have taken German, B., but they don't offer it at our school.

I wonder...