17 XII 2001 - 14:04 - vita13

So. I am writing this entry at school on a computer that has no key to push for the all-important closing parenthesis, which means that I will have to set everything off using commas and dashes. The first time I typed that sentence, I wrote "comas" in place of "commas," which I suppose would also be an effective way of setting things off - passing out does do that, doesn't it - but I thought that perhaps commas might be more appropriate. Especially as I probably don't look all that good sprawled out across the keyboard of a laptop in the school's computer lab. [That's just his vanity talking there, folks. Don't pay that any mind.] Our first day of finals is over. I really don't know; I've never had to write so many short essays on a Latin final before, and I sort of wish we were back in the old grammar-and-vocabulary test days. I think I did all right on the sight translation, but the prepared translation was... well, it wasn't fantastic. Ugh. Science at least was multiple choice, so now that's over with, an hour early, and I can start worrying about the finals I have to take tomorrow. Those are in history and math, ugh - I'm doing all right in those classes, but I can feel everything I know seeping out of me as I type. As I breathe, really; I would just stop typing if I thought that that could help me retain my knowledge any better. But it's sort of hard to stop breathing, at least, it's sort of hard to stop breathing without passing out. Or being dead. There's always that. Although with my luck, I would merely be condemning myself to an eternal hell of math exams.

Yeah. That's how good my luck has been recently.

The Youth Orchestra finished its Peter and the Wolf concerts, which is nice. I enjoy those concerts, because the music is nice and familiar, I don't have to think too much, and the only real challenge is staying awake. Which isn't so much of a problem when there are screaming children to laugh at feel sorry for in the audience. This year, though, the concert ended up being a great deal more stressful than I had expected, though: during our first concert, my A and G strings slipped - stop laughing, it's not what you think [oops, I forgot, only high school students laugh at that. And you. Maybe.] - and then during the second concert, just when I thought my bad luck had maxed out, my D and C strings slipped. Oh yes, that was great fun, first trying to see if I could compensate and then trying to tune on the sly. Which left my strings about a half-step high - is borogoves the only one who's still with me? - and so I had to remember that when trying to play perfect fifths. Ha. So bad concerts. I did, however, get my Christmas shopping mostly done without incident so that I could distribute books today to my friends. Although I did forget one, so today at lunch I bought her Don Quixote for when she has to take the plane to Japan next year - she's going to be studying there for her junior year. *sigh*

And so the rest of my day will probably be spent in: pretending to study, seeing if dland people have updated, wondering how on earth Al ended up with Blake's AP English binder, writing a sappy message for the friend who's going off to Japan, thinking about practicing, and sleeping. Maybe even checking some email, but not - god forbid - responding to any of it. Oh no, we couldn't have that, responding...

As an aside: Raych, I'm sorry about the abuse of the second person singular in the last entry. But I'm not going to take it down, and I'm too lazy to change it. And by the way, I enjoyed our conversation. Even despite the bickering. Just imagine: that was a good day... oh God, I am already married to Al and I never knew it. Help!

Anyway, just thought I'd check in. I'll be in and out, updates are never regular and I don't feel much like doing them when finals are, well, when I'm in the middle of finals. [Of course, once I write this, I will write three entries in one day. Just wait.] I'm going to go quietly mad now...

Adam. Respond to my email, dammit. And while I am making wishful thoughts, I am going to pretend that I am over B. because I never felt anything because I am not in rut, I am going to pretend that I am a nice person and that there are nice people out there who are not a] much straighter b] much older c] much repulsed by me d] all or any of the preceding, I am going to pretend that I'm good at being alone...

Yeah. I like make-believe, too. Although I wonder when it stops being a game and starts becoming a symptom of being delusional.

When did I get so bad at the mechanics of being alone?