2001-05-18 - 6:48 p.m. - quotidianus2

Last night's entry (or rather, today's entry) was mostly babble. I apologize for that - but I'm not deleting it, just so you know. As a side note: if Frannie and Al and Chloe want me to take down the links to their sites, I will. Just drop me a note, and I'll edit it out of my entry. Sorry if I've caused any inconvenience.

My friend and I have decided: she's going to invent a machine that will take men down to pocket size (and bring them to their original size at will) for ease of transport and other distillation of the person's essence. In the meantime, I'm going to work on the magic Orientation-Changer, which as its name implies will turn straight men gay and, I suppose, vice versa. We expect almost no market for our products, but that's perfectly all right, because we plan to use them ourselves. So there. Phooey to market forces. :�

In other news... I got my yearbook today. Kudos to the two people who worked so hard on creating them, but I do have several bones to pick: first. I don't like my school, but even I used to have faith that we could spell our own name. Apparently not: on the cover it says, "Universtiy." Like a pigsty, but different (and in some opinions, worse.) There are also many cut-off senior pages... formatting, or lack of communication? Either way, it could have been avoided. Overall, though, it's nice, and my friends are in it (yes, all of two times, but still!), so I'm happy. Plus I'm getting it signed... by, for instance, Chloe! Yay.

We had a substitute in jazz today, so I found the class more tolerable than usual... wasn't put on the spot as many times. I can come up with decent solos (well, decent considering that I have had all of... four? five? months of jazz training) when I'm not worried about how I sound... which I am, most of the time. (Honestly! I'm not uptight at all!)

Apparently one of my friends was asked about my sex life. Thank you, seal, for your noncommittal answer. Why am I talking about this? Who knows... another symptom of my sad diarrhea of the mouth. Or, in this case, of the fingers. Methinks I have become entirely too fond of confession.

What do I want out of life? I want the illusion that I am not alone, that I am with someone who I can take care of but who will also take care of me. I want control everywhere but with my friends (where I hope for mutualism) and with whoever I settle down with... let me explain for a moment. Any one of my friends will probably tell you that I'm quite tense, that I have difficulty relaxing. All of this is true, and in fact... I was going to explain it, but I find I can't. Curious. But this gets in the way of things... like, for instance, I was with my friend at the playground yesterday... she was doing amazing things on the bars (well, amazing to me, so shush) and trying to teach me how to do them... I couldn't even tip myself over past about 45 degrees. Why? *shrugs* If anyone out there can explain me to me, please do. I'm getting sick of my carcass and I want to know why.

Wow. Cheery stuff. I will be going now... I should do homework and practice and stuff because I won't have much free time over the weekend...

Oop. Mother yelling. Got to go...

J (:>