2001-08-01 - 10:57 p.m. - trivialis14

Occasionally, even I, the master of making the trivial into the exalted, will fail to find material from my rather mundane life. When that happens, it's time for quotes. So, my friends, it's time to tremble, as I reach back in my grab bag for what you've said...

"It's the Moscow rainforest!" (in Novodevichiy Convent Cemetery... wonderfully green, full of trees, and a lot of tombs of Russian greats. I worshipped at the graves of Prokofiev and Shostakovich; I noticed with amusement that although I was one of the youngest, I was also one of the few who knew who Khrushchev was. Sigh.)

"All we've talked about on this tour is Jesus and homosexuality. Even when you're not around!" (often on this tour, but most memorably in St. Petersburg, our fourth stop; the person speaking later amended it to Jesus, homosexuality, and how much we've talked about the other two.)

"Do you need to take a cold shower or spend some time alone in the bathroom or something?" (asked of me after it was suggested that I might be in rut. Which I am, so stay away or humor me.)

"Silly, that's what Russia is! All technique, no emotion! Oops, that's China." (One of my favorite gaffes... in reference to a young violinist in Red Square who didn't seem to know all of any of the pieces he played but managed to polish off that which he did know at an amazing tempo. This led to a reaction: "Wow, he's good... *listening more closely* wow, he sounds awful." Still, one of my favorite airheads. She's going away next year.)

"WHAT!? You like Monkeyman the Kinsey 0 with a like quantity of substance in his brain!?" (exclaimed numerous times by my well-intentioned friends. I still maintain that given a wig, I could have tricked him into something. There was something to their comments about his intelligence.)

"We can be old biddies together." (one of the most touching offers I've received in a long time. We've made a pact and we're going to live in a castle in Ireland somewhere. That is, if we don't find ourselves attatched first. Still, I'm fond of the person who offered this to me, and I'll be sad to see her go to Yale. On the other hand... new opportunities for her! So it's mixed, as always. Why do all my friends go before me?)

"I spent yesterday chasing him around Dublin." (a description of what the above person did on one of our free days. I walk quickly- can I help it? We did see the Book of Kells, which was neat, and a lot of cathedrals, and the Rememberance Garden, and the GPO, and a lot of bookstores, and St. Stephen's Green... yes. I get around.)

That's all I remember easily from this tour. Also, from the person who gave me my Disney coming-out moment: "I don't care what you say, you're still my son and I'm behind you no matter what" (aww... I love you too, Dad.) comes this following remedy for white hairs, translated from the Chinese by - who else? - yours truly: "Don't worry about the mushrooms and the sesame seeds. All you need to do is have a lot of sex!"

All right. That ends the quote segment:

As I was clearing out my room (it's amazing how many boxes I managed to fill this time around; what will my box situation be when I'm in my thirties?), I started remembering things that I'd really rather not remember. I call them BlushMoments from Youth.

But first, a little story...

One of my cousins used to think up all these ways to amuse me. One of these was taking her name and chanting it... but reversed. I was easily amused and would always be amazed when it righted itself, like so (read it in your head...)

"Da. Bren. Da.Bren.DaBrenDabrendabrendabrendabrendaBrenda." Yes. I was an easy child to take care of, I'm told.

But oh, the things I did when I was younger...

like:

-asking my sister's friend how long his penis was (over email, so there's a chance it got lost. but I shudder to think of it now...)

-flooding the bathroom after visiting some wetlands farther south along the Bay (what was I thinking!?)

Ach. There's more and worse, too, but my ears are turning red, and there's a limit to how much embarrassment I can take. Read quickly, folks, because I'm probably going to take the BlushMoments from Hell - oops, Youth - mention off in a jiffy.

Typhoon in Taiwan. Mudslides. Some relatives in the typhoon's path. Worry. I know I can't mother the whole world, but dammit, I'd like to.

J