10 III 2002 - 18:14 - trivialis26

I should probably be working on my thank-you notes for the trip I went on almost a month ago, but I don't feel up to it right now. My self-esteem is beyond the basement and I don't know why it's gone there. To traffic in demon eggs, perhaps.

Trigonometry is putting me to sleep and, when I do manage to stay awake, makes itself unintelligible. I have enough material to write my art paper for Wednesday but not enough initiative. I am going to change this all shortly, I just need to find the time.

Of late I have been disturbingly tired. I slept thirteen hours last night without meaning to, went to bed around seven o'clock meaning to wake up at eight so I could get some work done, flailed my alarm clock off and slept clear until morning.

Clear until morning. Apparently something is happening to my language. In Latin class the other day, "They aren't be well" escaped before I could stop it. I think it's the lack of sleep (which you'd think thirteen hours would have done something about, but now I'm just as tired as I was then.)

In the shower this morning the workings of my body began to amaze me. Have you ever stopped to think about what an amazing thing proteins are? Skin and beneath that muscle and the veins which carry your blood - now I've moved past that and am amazed by bone structure. The hollows and protrusions can be such beautiful things if looked at in the right light.

With me, I almost never feel as if I'm in the right light. (Right light? Darkness is best-)

It's taken me the better part of an hour to write even such a brief entry, so I think I should call it quits here and go take a nap or something. Maybe I'll bake something. That might cheer me up.

(They're capable hands, yes they are; it is only the body and mind which are incompetent, with me.)

I'm thinking about curses, for the March Ampersand project; my brain is moving sluggishly, however, and I fear I will not get some sort of inspiration in time. Maybe more sleep... would help... nonononono I have to stay awake.

Time to pull out those Indigo Girls CDs.