09 VI 2002 - 18:59 - brevis47

hello again.

today was glorious by most people's standards. i say by most people's standards because about ten minutes of talking to me about the weather reveals that, when confronted by sun and temperatures above seventy degrees, i become irritable and perhaps slightly deranged. i do not like the sun. early on in my life we decided that it would not tan me no longer how long i stayed out and i would not stay out for too long, allowing other people to benefit from its energy. i know this because the sun talks to me. (ha. not really. but i didn't fool you anyway.) so it's been an uneasy peace, except for when the sun has decided to increase my risk of skin cancer. i hate how it does that.

so anyway, glorious weather, sun, blue sky, no fog to be seen, and i didn't get up until late afternoon. i'm extraordinarily unproductive when on my own. i'm really good at telling myself this, too, but when it comes to getting out of the desk chair and getting into the piano chair or the cello chair, my legs freeze up and i become a drooling shell of my former self. i did, however, today manage to go to my volunteer job (mostly dusting, today, which made me sneeze), go to aardvark books (where i picked up a copy of eliot's waste land and penguin's irish myths and sagas), and get home, where i looked up the price of a frisbee ($10 for the kind my sister wants) and got some nail polish (clear and black). (this would probably be to the horror of my parents if they knew -- they'd say that i've been hanging around too many gay people, which is a joke, if you ask me -- all my friends are what again? oh yeah, straight girls. sigh.)

anxiety persists, though: what is to befall me tomorrow if i've no student id or textbooks? i wish the payment had gone through earlier so that i'd know. then again, as long as i'm getting wishes granted, i wish i were taking modern irish instead of german.

people are so nice. a family friend to whom we lent some chairs just came by to return them and (since i was alone, she said) brought me a plate with some ham and vegetables and potato salad and strawberries and cheescake. too bad i already cooked dinner. it'll keep in the refrigerator, though. but you see? just when i begin to lose faith in myself and in humanity, someone does something really nice like this for me that at least makes me smile.

well, that and the man i bought the street sheet from today.

but that's another story for another time, if even i remember it later.

P.S. 7:36 PM - if you go here, a MUNI-is-wacky Jay-is-an-idiot story should be up.