who do i visit when i'm not on dland? |
aporeo - 19:10 on 17 II 2004 sol occidit - 23:29 on 13 I 2004 meminisse haec iuvabit - 11:47 on 16 XII 2003 quiesco - 20:31 on 08 XI 2003 alchera mortuast - 14:40 on 01 X 2003 |
This is mine. All mine. |
thanks are due to sigyn for her patience and help with CSS |
oddcellist | |
2001-05-20 - 8:03 p.m. - poema_malum1 |
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.lust. <--- the title. [claws] not chemicals that do me in but men: the day i was born i was doomed. so help me god i cannot keep away- the sirensong is too fierce. so. onward, through loathing: for distaste too strikes for crowds, in crowds, masses of people teeming, leaving me with a desperate wish ALONE careens through my head looms large before my eyes blinds me and makes me gasp- and yet, it goes on, a longing for touch, his touch - who is he? i don't know, but most will do to have the illusion of support- not any longer questing for that but searching for the sake of the search. within me, an ancient need grows large i shine with its unearthly shining. no time, too young, dismissed- still you draw me back: again, again, cry out- it's no use, i find intruding into my thoughts becoming burning aching unbearable: not even always men but any word will suit to name that hole: length words ideas friends music fall into the fires of me like cells in gastrulation: will something fill this master of needs, this seeming need for need- or shall i consume myself hole expanding wildly to meet space and perhaps at last redemption: and is that then the only purpose of my life? is the dying sun there to shine upon twisted gardens of warped metal strewn over the rubble-field of the cold dead world? ask me what is my need: to find out is my desire- search for ideals, men that can't be found, illusion: and my core remains... i do not have much to offer the assembled masses demanding panem circensesque: what i offer instead of empty promises, empty dreams IS simple: a ringside seat as men music words I life needs wants desires chip away at me and turn the third-rate statue into a first-class ruin. |
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Can you think of something new to help me fill this space? |
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