23 XI 2002 - 17:56 - nihil quietis

Oh, la . . . le pauvre!
I shall run before him,
With a curious puffing.
He will bend his ear then.
I shall whisper
Heavenly labials in a world of gutturals.
It will undo him.

Points awarded to the discoverer of the poem. (It's not hard, really.)

Ups and downs since forever, really. It takes a bit of getting used to but I'm told I'm pleasant enough to talk to, most days. Some people would say that I'm overly cynical and pessimistic (have I started over, introducing myself to everyone? I wouldn't have thought there a need) but I maintain that at heart I am an optimist. After all, if I just wait out these storms everything will be all right...

Things to feel guilty about: possibly taking a total of five weeks off from my volunteer work (standardized test-concert-concert-family-family). Not having Tuesday afternoons free and therefore being unable to help my seminary friend do her first service in Berkeley, at the Graduate Theological Union. Having dumped, quite methodically, all my stress on everyone around me for the past half-month. (If I haven't gotten to you yet, have patience; it will soon be your turn).

On the other hand, we sound semi-decent for tomorrow's concert (and by semi-decent, I mean no riots), I have a book of Seamus Heaney essays to read instead of my 'real' work, and until the concert is over tomorrow, I don't have to think too hard until after the concert, and my chamber music group is finally getting its act together and (maybe) having rehearsals. Although I already know I don't like the replacement violinist. (Now, young man... is that any sort of attitude to be carrying into this? To which my answer is, of course, 'Yes.') But I'm talking about good things, now... like speaking to friends about drama and God and stress and boys and anything in between.

Everything stacks itself into lists because in the end, everything is regimented. Remember this.