2001-08-21 - 6:39 p.m. - fortasse(is?)1

Perhaps things are changing...

It might be too soon to tell, but the frost might be lifting. My piano teacher - who is not given to mindless positive reinforcement for its own sake and does not believe in muttering comments merely to bolster self-esteem - she actually liked the way I played yesterday.

And slowly, I come to see that perhaps it doesn't have to sound exactly like the record in my head for it to be good, for me to hold myself in thrall, audience be damned... which won't stop me from trying for the record, because I can and should (although whether I can make it is an entirely different matter).

And just now I was reminded by a family friend that "no one is ever entirely happy with the way they've played." I mean, even Yo-Yo Ma doesn't sound like Yo-Yo Ma (CD) all the time.

Different notes:

Yahoo is down right now; somebody tell me that it's not just my computer?

My family is so touchy. There's the ancient feud between my mother and my grandmother (shows no signs of letting up until one or the other is dead), and now an... interesting email exchange - apparently my new cousin (henceforth to be known as the Bride) found that some things had gone missing, so she sent out an email. Then another one of my cousins got offended by her wording (to be fair, she is pregnant and the flight to Indy wasn't easy for her) and sent a nasty email - to which the Bride sent an even nastier defensive email.

If I hunt for a long time, I can see how the first email might be worded to cause offense. But really, it's a long hunt, and...

sometimes my family disgusts me? I think I'd best leave it at that. I'm really much better when I have only one or two cousins at a time to deal with, not the full complement (getting bigger by the moment as they get married off).

And now... if any of you out there have been having problems with bothersome relatives... if you'd be so good as to join me in a scream-

J